Values Exercise
The importance of values is that they are the key to personal fulfilment. They are a remarkable tool for achieving success in life and can help in areas such as boundary setting, decision making, time management and empowerment.
Honouring your values can be hard and demanding and yet it will create fulfilment. The energy that is liberated by honouring your values is great even if the short-term actions can feel challenging. Ignoring a value drains you especially when this is a ‘hidden value’ which you might not yet be consciously aware of.
Values are different from principles – there is no judgement attached to a value. A value’s rightness or wrongness is not of interest. As we live in integrity with our values, our energy rises and we build a lasting authority that is not dependent upon external recognition or approval.
A value is less tangible than something we “have”. Money is not a value and yet the peace of mind it gives us may well be. Often people are asked to choose their values from a checklist or through a simple brainstorm but, in this process, there is a risk that the values are judged prior to being declared. People might dismiss a value of ‘beauty’ as being too superficial or a value of ‘honesty’ might be chosen because of its moral qualities rather than its ability to inspire and fulfil.
The following exercise attempts to by-pass this ‘judgement’ of values by asking you to describe your values through ‘real life’ stories of personal fulfilment and personal despair. In these situations, values will either have been honoured or discounted and personal ‘story telling’ helps these values to emerge in a non-judgemental atmosphere.
Values Elicitation Exercise:
Identify 3 special, peak moments when life felt perfect, fulfilled and ‘in the flow’. Re-live these experiences and recount them to a coach. Explore the details of the moment – What was happening? Who was there? What made it special? What triggered the feelings of fulfilment? What else do you remember about it? What can you visualise about the moment ?
Ask the coach to play back what they have heard about the experience and which words had most impact and energy. What values were being honoured in this experience?
Brainstorm the list of values with the coach and refine these such that they are specific and meaningful to you
Now identify 3 moments of despair when life felt empty, blocked and frustrating. Repeat the remainder of the steps for these experiences as above but now working with the coach to identify the values that were being ignored or not honoured at these times.
Combine the two lists of values and start to assess the priority of each by asking yourself the question ‘If my house was burning down and my values were in the house, which one would I take with me first ?’ ‘And then which one next?’…and so forth.
After the session, write down your values in order of priority and add a couple of sentences to each that describes them in more detail. Review this list after a few days to check whether new thoughts and insights have emerged in your thinking.
Use this ‘hierarchy of values’ proactively to help make decisions and resolve dilemmas